Advice we all could take into account

DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY..
Nine times out of ten, the seemingly inexcusable things people do and say are a result of the psycho-drama in their head. You probably remind them of the girl in year 8 who laughed at a pee-dot on the front of their school pants.

DON’T BE RUDE TO GUYS WHO TALK TO YOU..
They’re only doing it because they find you attractive. If you don’t want to speak to them, tell them you’ve got a boyfriend who races formula 1.

NEVER DATE A GUY NAMED MILES,
or Hendrix. Any parent who names their child after a unit of measurement or a dead singer has to be pretentious. There’s a good chance their kid will be aswell.

DON’T DO DRUGS WITH STRANGERS..
If there’s a chance your gonna lose control, you want to be among friends, not some lurking date-rapey Casanova you have just met on the dance floor. Friends will chuck you in a cab and stay with you untill the fridge stops speaking Japanese.

DONT DATE GUYS WHO WEAR GOLD JEWELLERY..
Its like licking a power switch- why would you do it to yourself??

FORGET SUN TANNING..
They might tease you for being white, but you’ll get your own back when the sun queens turn forty and look like the bladder from a grand final football.

DON’T DATE GUYS WHO RIDE MOTORBIKES OR DRIVE PANEL VANS..
They are both dangerous, but for different reasons.

PLAY SPORT..
Enjoy your body while its young. Even though your a complete unco now, your an absolute Olympian compared to what you will be able to do at forty five.

NEVER HAVE SEX ON A FIRST DATE..
He’ll still be there for a date or two and he’ll respect you more for making him work for it. Unless of course he’s going to war, then why not send the poor bugger off with a smile on his face.

DRINK BEER..
It shows your down to earth, low maintenance and maybe even appreciate footy.

DON’T DATE PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES, ACTORS OR MUSICIANS..
If they are famous they are more than likely cheating on you. Of not, then they’ll be using bed sheets as curtains when they’re forty.

HOWEVER, IF YOUR JUST INTERESTED IN SEX-
well those creative types are creative and athletes are fit

IF YOUR BOYFRIEND ASKS YOU TO IRON HIS SHIRT,
Say no. Or do a really shit job. He’ll never ask again.

STAND-UP FOR OLD PEOPLE..
Unless they’re wearing a raincoat and seem unusually pleased to see you. If they don’t thank you, the next time the bus lurches pretend to lose balance and drop a sly elbow onto the top of their head – they’ll get the message.

NEVER HAVE SEX ON CAMERA..
If you really really really feel its something you want to do, take the tape when you leave. (but don’t label it ‘My Sex Video’ and put it on your bookshelf)

DON’T ASK PEOPLE WHAT THEY DO OR WHERE THEY’RE FROM..
everyone has their story to tell, so draw it out of them without preconceptions based on their address or salary.

IF IN DOUBT, GO WITHOUT.
This applies to clothes, one-night stands, tequila shots and McDonald’s.

ALWAYS CHOOSE THE MAN WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH..
Don’t date men just for looks, money or status. The six-pack fades, the sense of humour doesn’t.

DON’T SMOKE!
It has no redeeming qualities. It stinks, gives you wrinkles and will eventually kill you.

READ..
someones taken the time to distill their thoughts on life into a few hundred pages, and its sitting there waiting for you to experience. You only live once, and something in that book may make your life that little bit easier.

DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES..
Its rude, suggests you think your better than the other people and you look like you’ve just trodden barefoot on a snail.

NEVER THROW YOUR DRINK IN A GUYS FACE..
Its not high drama. its cheap. walk away.. On the other hand, if he’s groped you, make sure your glass is nice and full.

TAKE RISKS..
I promise your not going to be on your deathbed wishing you hadn’t kissed that cute french boy or launched that fashion label – just check you’ve got a bungee cord.

DON’T TALK TO CHILDREN IN THAT COOCHIE-WOOCHIE BABY VOICE..
it shits me.

YOU CAN BE TOO SKINNY..
If you must focus on your body, make it positive and get addicted to fitness.

DON’T BE RUDE TO WAITERS,
Or cabbies, or anyone you believe is in a position of inferiority – even when there’s no one else around.

NEVER LET SOMEONE HUMILIATE YOU DURING SEX..
Its a crazy thing being naked with a stranger, and sometimes, in the heat of the bedroom (or toilet cubicle) people ask or do something that can make you uncomfortable. The first time tell them no. If they do it again, walk away and never come back. It’s your body, so don’t feel pressured to act out other peoples pornographic fantasies.

EAT MUSIC!
Listen to it all and give everything a chance. It can make you happier than just about anything on earth.

COMPARE NOTHING..
Be it bust size, salary or your childhood. Comparisons to your own will just make you grumpy or smug.

DON’T BE A GROUPIE..
be the rock star.

BE ONE OF THE COOL CHICKS..
which doesn’t mean the bimbo who teases the fat girl. It means defining your opinions beyond what your friends and parents think, having a humanity that may put you at odds with others, being able to laugh at yourself! and, above all, wearing fabulous shoes.

RESPECT COPS..
you don’t have to like them, but appreciate the job they do. Its a brutal occupation, and they’re the first people you call when the shit hits the fan.

DON’T HOLD GRUDGES..
Your the one who suffers – the other person is happily getting on with their life.

DON’T SMOKE HYDRO..
hydroponic marijuana is full of fertilisers and pesticides. If you want a joint stick with the naturally grown stuff.

DON’T LIE TO YOUR MATES..
they will never forget it.

OK MEN, NEVER WEAR SANDALS,
ever! And never jog in speedos. ever!

DON’T PUSH IN AT THE BAR..
You know damn well who was there first!

THINGS YOU’LL NEVER REGRET DOING;
Visiting your granny.
Standing up to a bully
skydiving
living in Paris
falling madly in love

KEEP YOUR WORD..
or else it devalues quickly.

TEN PERCENT OF PEOPLE…
… will not like you no matter what you do. They just hate your head for some reason. Accept it. Move on.

BE KIND..
its the most attractive quality you’ll ever possess..